Why, who, what?

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I want to be a writer. I am not sure if I am really any good at it. Time will tell. And so will the public. I like to tell stories. I like to give information. I am interested in people. I am here on this blog because I have so much to say and to share. If you stay tuned you will learn a lot about me, more than you probably wanted to. More than I may have wanted to share. You may learn something about yourself, and I may learn some new things also.

As my title of my blog suggests, this will be about my musings and observations on Life and all of the wonderful and wacky things it has to offer (even those things not so wonderful), people that I have come across and expectations of the Universe.

I am an American living in London for the last 20+ years.  I sometimes jokingly say I came here the hard way, I married an Englishman. It’s a joke, with an element of truth. I didn’t want to come to London after my first time living here over 25 years ago. Heck, you couldn’t even buy a salad in a restaurant in those days! The shops weren’t open on Sunday! It was the dark ages, literally as my first time living here was during November through to February! On a houseboat in the middle of freezing, damp, wet, rainy, winter! There are seasons where I come from, even at that time of year! And guess what? It is that time of year NOW! The year has a habit of repeating itself. 🙂

I say that I am on a new journey. The old journey was like the English weather; mostly cloudy, chance of rain with maybe a bright spell, with more rain to follow and continual grey skies. The horrid truth is that I actually created the weather. I am no longer a rain-maker. It is always sunny in my mind and in my heart. And because I am human, sometimes I forget.

I am mostly an observer and sometimes a participant.  Although I speak English, I still sometimes don’t understand the British language.  I am an alien, but legal. Even though London is where I call home, I sometimes feel as if I belong elsewhere and I am still searching for that place where I can fit in. I have felt disconnected ever since I could remember anything. I feel that my whole life so far has been about finding something or someone to connect to.

My journey in life has so far been an arduous one, until the last few years, because of some of the choices I have made.  I own up.  I haven’t made the best decisions.  Even bad choices have some perks, but one always pays the price.  I once told a friend of mine that she should learn from my mistakes as I made them so she won’t have to!  (A sense of humour is crucial here) If I can assist even one person, then my job is done.

I’ve read that who we are in the present is the sum of our past. Perhaps they are right. And since the past can be anything from a moment ago, anything we learn to improve our lives for the future is a big help.

In the present moment, I am a very happy person on the whole. It has taken a lot of time and practice to accomplish this feat. To understand what is going on in the present, I may have to resort to stories from the past only to use as an example. In living in the present and making the most of it, I think it is important to understand one’s past and learn from the decisions we have made. Sometimes we can be a bit blinded and may have to repeat a few things until we get it right. Sometimes, some people never get it right, and I find that very sad.

I am living as best as I can in the present moment.  It isn’t always easy to do.  I have wasted a lot of time over the years.  Even though I have been told it wasn’t a waste of time, just a learning experience.  I would have preferred a different learning experience.  I didn’t have the right information. This is the blessing of hindsight. One can look back and say, ‘I could have done this better, and I wish I had more information then.’ This is why it is so important to be in the moment of whatever you do, think, and make good decisions.

My children kept me sane. Or I tried to stay sane because of them. I adore them and they are my reason for having survived the worst days of my life. Trust me, they can be a pain in the butt, but they are my reality check. As any parent knows, don’t ask your children anything if you don’t want to hear the truth. I have three of them; oldest a boy, and the two youngest are twins (boy/girl). They are too intelligent and opinionated for my own good.

I am here on this new journey because I am currently childless. This new journey started the day I took my daughter to University. The oldest is in his last year at Leeds and her twin brother is doing a Gap year and is currently in Peru. Lucky for some!  I thought I would have a chance to revel in the opportunity of having the house to myself, and enjoy the cleanliness and the fact that it was tidy. Not a chance!

Since that fateful, blissful, and tearful day (she doesn’t know about the tears), the following events have taken place: I had the best holiday in Sevilla, a week later I was given notice as my boss is closing down his company, and I got a lodger. I am not alone. I am looking for work and I am still smiling. Oh, and I am trying to sell my house. Pleeeeeese, don’t tell me it isn’t the right time to sell – I look at it as a challenging time.  Try and stay positive.

So, please join me on my new adventure!

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About Arlene

Arlene Toth is all about new beginnings and trying new things. There is so much to see and do in the world and she wants to do as much as she can while she still has her health and the time to do it.

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