A Crisis of Confidence

I have been having a crisis of confidence.  I think everyone goes through it now and again.  It’s my turn.  I have been confused.  I have never had an issue about finding work before.  I was actually feeling quietly confident that I would find something, but then I momentarily lost my confidence.  Why me and why now?  Is it me or is it them?  I am being told on one hand that I won’t get the salary I had from my last job, and on another I am being told to hold out as I am worth it.  The man that told me that is an Angel, and we never even met.  I am told I shouldn’t have a problem finding work because of my skills and then I am told that employers are being very picky and job specific.

It is the same about my house.  I get told that this is not a good time to sell and then I am told that things are picking up.  A friend of a friend told me this morning that my house is too expensive.  What business is it of hers?  I told her that I wasn’t selling it to her.  I got a bit fed up of the negativity coming my way.

It’s the same thing about the internet dating.  On one hand I hear really great things about it and the next I hear that it is really dangerous and I should be careful.  That last part was also spoken by the friend of a friend.  I told her I’m from New York and I know how to handle myself.  (I didn’t think she would know where New Jersey was.)   I really enjoyed telling her that I met a really nice man through the internet.  I can get bitchy in the face of negativity.

I got up early and went to the café on Monday and read a newspaper for the first time in months.  It was rubbish.  Nothing but doom and gloom.   I am surrounded by negativity.  Maybe my trusting nature was taken while my back was turned.

The Universe tells me that I need to trust and that everything will be ok.  Something happened where I lost that trusting feeling.  I don’t know what happened.  I don’t know where or when I lost it.  I know The Universe is right.  I just need to feel it.

A very good friend of mine gave me a pep talk by e-mail.  She did to me what I do to everyone else.  I cheerlead.  For a few days I was all over the place.  I was in my head, which is a typical Gemini thing.  I was down about work and she reminded me of what I needed to know and helped me to find some faith.  I am less confused.  I think she has helped me to find my trusting nature again.

I had some interesting news about some potential work.  I have some interest in my house.  I am finding my faith and paying attention to The Universe.  The Universe can’t be rushed.  I will get what I need when I am ready.  I refuse to let negativity get to me.  I refuse to let other people get me down.  Embrace the positive and eliminate the negative.

I wonder if earplugs work for that.

5 thoughts on “A Crisis of Confidence

  1. If you find a pair of earplugs for that, I’ll buy them off you for a hundred bucks. 😉

    I get sick of trusting at times, get mad at the universe, then realize that I can’t be any other way and sometimes the universe is just trying to tell me not to worry so much.

    Sometimes I listen. Sometimes I don’t.

    I like visualization exercises to find my center again.

    In mine I think about floating in a nice stream, rolling gently with the current, winding slowly through a deep emerald forest with dappled sunlight in the trees and on the water. Birds chirping in the distance. Mmmm. That helped me calm down.

    Still want those earplugs, tho’. 🙂

  2. “things have a natural tendency of working themselves out” a friend of mine always says. And he’s right. All you need to do is your best….

    1. Arlene

      Sasha and Skye,

      I love you both. And I know that things will work out. I am just very impatient! 🙂
      Thanks for your positive thoughts. I think it’s working!

      Hey Skye,
      If I find some of those earplugs, I will send them to you for free. I really wanted to slap that woman yesterday! At least I haven’t lost my fighting spirit. 😉

      I have had other people cheerleading me on too. Anybody know where I can get some pom-poms?

  3. Hey Arlene
    Just read your post and you know if I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to be careful, or to consider the risk, or to think again… well I’d be loaded.
    Thing is I am rich in my heart because I didn’t listen and did my own thing anyway. Thus I gave up the safe path and ended up here where I am concentrating on surrounding myself with the positive souls in the world who understand. To stay true to me and shut out the words of doubt has not always been easy, and I guess it will never be, but I will keep trying and I know that so will you. What I have found is that as I walk this path, the words of support get stronger and the words of doubt fade away…

    Support from Buenos Aires. SC

    1. Arlene

      Thanks Sally,

      I had an ah ha moment in the shower yesterday and worked out where some negative things were coming from and just turned it around. Guess what, I got offered a job for 3 weeks! So things are looking up. Oh, and the Universe said never leave the house without the words think and thank. The only difference between them is one letter. The Universe wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, only that he thought it could be huge. I think I know. Thanks for the support. I am right behind you, too.

      A xx

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