My Love Life, Timing and The Internet: Part 2

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I always thought that I would know the right man when he came along, especially after not having met him these last five years.  After my last major relationship had ended, the first two years afterwards I had been alone and I didn’t date.  The next two years after that I dated, but nothing serious.  In this last year I hadn’t.  I didn’t see the point of dating as I was really busy and quite happy with the way my life was going.  I wasn’t willing to date anyone until it felt like the right thing to do. I was keeping myself to myself until then.  I was asked out often, but I couldn’t even take an interest to  meet for coffee.  So doing the whole internet dating thing was completely out of character for me.

In thinking that I would know the right man when he came along, there was also a part of me that thought I might be wrong and that I should have an open mind about these things and give people a chance.  That is just what I did with Internet Man.  I gave him a chance, but when it came right down to it, it just didn’t feel 100%, and I am an all or nothing kind of girl.  I am never going to doubt myself again.

No sooner than I decide to say no to Internet Man, The Universe gives me another chance at romance.  This time it comes completely out of left field.  I love how The Universe works, as you can never determine how things will come to you.

The new man in my life is an old acquaintance and someone whom I have never dated before or would have ever contemplated dating.  We met a few years ago on a scuba diving holiday.  Now, I meet a lot of people when I go on diving holidays and usually at the end of the holiday we tend to exchange e-mails.  Some you stay in contact with and some fall by the wayside.

This man was one of the few I remained in contact with.  He was very sweet and sort of looked out for me on my last day when we all went home as I was feeling a bit poorly.  We kept in contact with each other on and off over these last few years via various methods of the internet such as e-mail and MSN.  I thought he was a very nice and interesting person.  If I never saw him in the last three years, it is because I was never attracted to him in that way and he had commitments and really wasn’t in a position for that to happen.  The ‘M’ word is a real turn off for me, although I am a sucker for really good conversation.

Communication between us became more frequent once I was made redundant and joined Facebook.  It was about that time I also started the blogs, my Aunt died, and I reconnected with other family members all the while looking for full time employment.  It was great having instant support from friends and family members.

Around Christmastime I learned that my diving friend was separating from his partner and moving into a new flat.  This came as a complete surprise to me as over the years he never really talked about his personal life.  (I have since learned that he had been separated already for 18 months.)  Having been down this road myself, I offered my sympathies and that was that.  He never discussed his personal issues.  He is a real gentleman.

Around the time I was having angst about Internet Man, one of my other Facebook friends, an acquaintance that lives locally to me, was having angst about just the thought of dating.  So here I am, ever helpful, I suggest that she make friends with my diving friend.  I tell her that he is a very nice man.  They are both single, so why not?  She isn’t sure and will have to think about it.  I ask my diving friend to be friends with my friend.  ‘Is she as nice as you?’ he asks.  ‘I don’t know, but she is very nice’, I say.  ‘Is she as attractive as you?’ he asks.  ‘I don’t know, she is an attractive woman’, I say.  Eventually they both agree to be friends on Facebook, and after a couple of weeks, agree to meet for lunch.  Things are going very nicely via Facebook and my diving friend is going to come up here and meet my friend.

On the day my diving friend has his date, I text him and suggest we meet for coffee after.  As he has come all this way, I thought it would be nice to see him after all of these years.  He agrees.  When his lunch is over he calls me for my address.  It is 4:30 in the afternoon.  Five minutes later the doorbell rings.  My friend is at the door with a big smile.  I greet him with a big smile and a hug.  ‘Hello stranger’, I say.  I don’t remember him looking this good.  I invite him in.  I make a big pot of coffee.  My son comes home from work and I introduce him to my friend and the three of us have coffee together.

Eventually, my friend and I are left alone to chat.  Nearly three years has passed, but it feels like only yesterday since we had been in each other’s company.  I ask him about lunch.  He thought my friend was a lovely woman, but that he thought her personal life was too complicated for him.  That’s it.  What a gentleman.  I didn’t press it, as it wasn’t any of my business.

So we play catch up and talk about ourselves and while doing so we realise that something is happening between us.  I know it is this feeling that I have been waiting for all of these years as I noticed something when I opened the door earlier.  How and why does it happen?  How is it possible to not be attracted to a person one moment and then to be attracted to them in the next?  Does it really matter?  Maybe it is all about timing.  In any event, I am trying not to think about it and just enjoy it.  I am feeling a little shy and simultaneously I want to be with this person sitting in front of me and talk with him for hours.  However, I settle for chatting for another hour and a lovely hug when he leaves.

That is how I have ended up spending those few weekends down at the coast.  My friends were right about distance being no obstacle.  It takes me about 1.5 – 2 hours to drive down.  Once I am off of the M25 the views are beautiful, and the time it takes driving down to visit feels like nothing.  I feel as if I am going on holiday every weekend.

I have just spent the best part of a week down here and am feeling more at home on each visit.  I feel really lucky to have met such a lovely and wonderful man.

Remind me to thank The Universe later.

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4 responses

  1. Hi Arlene

    I’m so happy for you, it’s about time the universe smiled on you.But the thing that struct me most about this piece, was the fact that you thought of your friend first. Here you are single and you know this great guy who happens to be a gentleman (thats rare these days).And what do you do you introduce him to your friend, luckily the universe and he knew better…This is why i always call you a classy lady.always putting others before yourself.Now all thats left is for the universe to send you next weeks lottery numbers…..

    see you about town sometime….:)

  2. How very exciting and wonderful!

    I enjoyed catching up on things in this post and your last.

    Nothing can replace genuine chemistry. Not even chocolate :).

    • Hi Skye,
      You are right about that, and chocolate is pretty darn good. Even better is chemistry AND chocolate!