Burning the Past and Painting the Future

This is what I did Saturday.   Before I did that, I grabbed everything except my handbag with my wallet and house keys and went off to the workshop with my friend following behind me.  Doh!  We stopped for petrol.  It was when I went to get my handbag to pay for the petrol that I realised I left my bag at home.  Crap!  Fortunately, my friend owed me money for the workshop, and she paid for my petrol.  The sat nav made me crazy and I took a few wrong turns, but we all got there with plenty of time to spare.  The workshop was wonderful, but exhausting for me.   I came home, knocked on my neighbour’s door and got the spare key.  No problem.  I didn’t worry about anything all day as I knew within myself that all was going to be ok.  Besides, I had backup.  My neighbour came to the workshop too and she gave me the key to her flat as she was staying with another friend that came to the workshop.  Don’t you love how things work out like that?

One of the things we had to do in the workshop was to draw a picture of our future as we wanted it.  Easy peasy, but more of that later.  The whole experience exhausted me.  My head was bursting full of ideas for new paintings.  It felt as if my head was going to explode.  I had insights into my life and actions that I didn’t know about before.   I am at a very interesting point in my life where I have so many choices that I almost feel immobilized.  I say almost.  It is as if I can see into the future, but I choose to remain in the present and see what happens.

So that was Saturday, Sunday was another day and I decided to do ‘nothing’ all day.  That involved doing laundry, watering the plants, planting a new climber, sunbathing (for the first time in months!), and reading a book!  I also went out to tea at my local and listened to music and caught up with some salsa friends and met new people.  I also re-painted my future. (really, more about that later!)  How is that for a lazy summer’s day!?

I also decided to burn my past!  Literally!  I have had a couple of heavy boxes of paper that have represented divorces, mortgages and other stuff that represented my life for the last ten+ years.  Shredding was a nightmare.  I thought, ‘I have a chiminea, why don’t I burn the stuff that has been hanging around in my hallway for the last year!?  So that is what I did, and am still doing!  Lookie see!

Crap to burn!
Burning the Past

I couldn’t burn it all in one go, and am doing the rest this morning.  The ashes were still hot.   I am burning so much anger and resentment from the past.   It is very therapeutic.   I know that when I have burned every single scrap of paper, I will be even more free than I was before – and I will also have fertiliser for the garden!

Now to painting my future, at last!  Here is the picture!

My Future

It isn’t supposed to be fine art, merely a representation of what I want in my future, and is in the centre of my inspiration wall in my office.  The other things on my wall all link into this picture or are there to inspire me.  Anyone can do this.  I had a flyer from an exhibition I went to on a board in my old house.  It was there for 10 yrs. and was of a painting I saw.  At the time, it was too expensive for me, but I knew one day I would have one of this artist’s paintings.  Now I own five, including the original painting I saw that was on my inspiration board!  Maybe inspiration is the wrong word to use.  I might start calling it my manifestation wall.  I really do think that if you can visualise what you want in your life, it will come, eventually.  Putting up a picture merely brings it into the present to make sure you don’t forget about what you want and to help you take steps to reach your goal.

By looking at my picture, you may think ‘hey, she already has a house by the sea!’  Well, I live less than a 10 minute walk away from the seafront.  I would love to look out of my window and look at the sea everyday without getting out of my house!  I am one step away from that.  Although we have lovely summers here in Eastbourne, I still live in the UK and the winter can be a bit grim.  I would like to live with sunshine year round.  I could do with more cash.  A job would be nice.  Notice that is the first thing in my picture.    I am ready to go back to work and earn some money.  The tree represents many things:  Roots, security, communication, knowledge or information…I am sure I will think of some other things, but I felt I needed to paint a tree.  Lastly, a loving relationship.  I painted two naked people looking out to sea with a sunset and butterfly.  They are naked because they are open and free.    The butterfly signifies a new beginning and I just needed to put it in there.  So my future is looking very good in that picture.  My present is also very good and I am very grateful for what I have now.  I don’t feel I am lacking anything, I would just like to tweak things and have a bit more of what I have already in a different environment.  This picture inspires me and shows me what is going to come to me, eventually.

So, what do you see in your future?